Save the planet! If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Its a great feeling. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! })(); } Laugh often, long and loud. died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. " George Carlin 14. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . googletag.cmd.push(function() { They own everything. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. George Carlin. In America, anyone can become president. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. I love individuals. Enjoy! gads.async = true; !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); American A.async = !0; The challenge is to find it. - George Carlin quotes. //=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f? g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. , Yeah, I know, youre thinking. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Its totally FREE. In America, anyone can become president. I think the life cycle is all backwards. They own, and control the corporations. Did you enjoy this article? if(cookiePair[0] === name) { And armbands. I mean, life is tough. Thank you! Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. 3. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); Stand-Up Comedy. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. } catch (err) { What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. } People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. I have certain rules I live by. So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives. We havent tried that for a while. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
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