depressed boyfriend broke up with me

Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? - Quora I understand he wants to work on himself and I actually think thats a good thing. 4) How do I move on from a relationship that was truly amazing & just broke off due to circumstances? If your boyfriend broke up with you because hes depressed or unhappy, you can be certain he didnt make a quick decision. It means that he needs to work on improving his coping mechanism and staying in love even if you dont always reach his expectations. 1 Feb 20, 2017 #1 My boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me about 4 weeks ago. He did say, its me, not you. Later on though he said I was a wonderful person and he doesnt want to lose me. He has been depressed for a long time (pretty much our entire relationship which was 2.5yrs) and told me that after I had been gone travel nursing (1 solid month apart) he just spiraled so deep that he didnt even know if he loved me anymore (he said he just didnt feel anything about anything). My boyfriend broke up with me the other day because of depression. It can be inferred that your boyfriend might have had extreme mood fluctuations which made him take such a decision of breaking up. Said all the things Ive read here like its really not you and I just need to be by myself. A few days ago my severely depressed boyfriend broke up with me claiming i am much better off without him ..He wants to fight this battle by himself.. He's on strong medications .seeing psychiatrist .so he is getting help.. at the moment he's got his hand full helping him self..quitting smoking and alcohol all at once while working full . Follow Posted 4 years ago, 5 users are following. With that in mind, it is safe to say that depression can have an impact on the relationship. So Im trying to focus on myself and it actually does motivate me to get myself stable again because if we do end up together again I want to make sure Im ready and confident and have my life together. Its difficult to read that he has associated me with negative feelings like stressors but it also helps me to understand how we got here. My emotions at present are like an R rated version of a Magic Eight Ball in the hands of an over-caffeinated child. Hi, I'm actually going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. Continue with Recommended Cookies, The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me, how can I help him? They want him to act a certain way even though hes dealing with a lot of problems at the same time and cant act the way they want him to act. Aside from that, it is important to know if his depression was caused by a specific situation, or if it is something they are still struggling with because if that is the case, they might not go back until it is resolved. Your blog & articles truly helps me find my way during these tough times. Thank you for sharing. Everything in our relashionship went well, as usual, until when she started her 2nd year of college in September 2020. We're both in our early/mid-30s and were together for three-and-a-half years. And he cant adult right now. Im just so confused as the best way to be with him if it is depression. Depression sometimes puts additional weight on a relationship and makes the couple struggle to stay emotionally connected. People might also have a higher chance of getting depressed if they have been through a previous depressive episode, or they have a family history of depression. Mine has less depression,(bizzare creative spurts of painting and playing the piano) but mood swings peaking into euphoria most of the time. Judge him by his pre-breakup and post-breakup behavior. He said he has thought about about it a lot and he hasnt been truly happy for a while and doesnt feel the same as he used to. Does he miss me? If you know your boyfriend has been struggling with depression, you might have realized his behaviors have changed over time. One day, youre helping your boyfriend with his stressors, and the next, he no longer appreciates your help and wants to be in a relationship. 3 days ago my boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me. My boyfriend and fiance of 5 1/2 years dumped me last night. Its not uncommon to get blindsided by a depressed boyfriend. People may also start to avoid spending time with their partners. Anyway, here is the story: Be Careful About Breaking Up When You're Depressed | by Karen Nimmo | On The Couch | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. No arguments. Dont let yourself get caught up in their diagnosis, enjoy the relationship as you would with any other one. A condition in and of itself is not a reason to . And that he can't be happy with someone when he's not. It can come from little white lies to more serious matters. They might start to push people away, as a way to not hurt others, and that is when they might break up with their partners. If you want to get back to him even though he is depressed you can try to change things up. In Greek, anhedonia directly translates to without pleasure. It is a condition where one does not find anything interesting. Depression Depressed boyfriend broke up with me Follow Posted 4 years ago, 4 . I would try to make plans and he would always say "maybe" and then eventually would agree, although sounding like he had no interest. And if you want to discuss your breakup with us in private and want a faster, more detailed response, check out our coaching options. They are quite doubtful about their potentials and suffer from constant conflict about their own self worth. Sometimes we have problems, and we need to have the knowledge and strength to deal with them. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me - Tiny Buddha Mental health professionals specialized in the field of romantic relations are the ones who will help both of you cope with the situation and derive a solution. Her life was stressful everyday since then. Im at a loss. I could see his life spinning out of control and he would say every time we talked his life is Fed. Meaning, if you got depressed maybe your reaction would have been to reach out to him more, for comfort while his reaction is to withdraw. I dont want to go out to date because that is simply wrong although I do feel the need to talk it is a dilemma. They may be depressed, but if their exes hadnt made them feel unwanted emotions, they wouldnt have pushed them away. From the following article My depressed boyfriend broke up with me, you will gather information about the criticality and consequences of having a depressed partner. We talk or text everyday, but then his calls and text were getting father apart. Remind him about his goals and dreams 2. He suffers from depression, and I believe to also be bipolar. Be Careful About Breaking Up When You're Depressed It is not even them. Woman paralysed by her ex when he caught her in bed with a new man is Breakups Throwaway, because Gods knows I don't ever want to see this thread again after this week. severely depressed boyfriend broke up with me Thats why depressed dumpers dont go into detail too much. Hi, I have been in a (very) long distance relationship for about a year and a half. If anyone wants to connect and talk through it together, I would love that because none of my friends have been through this before to really advise :/. If hes acting differently now (lets say hes going out, partying, meeting new people), he most likely isnt depressed. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Does he appear sad and depressed after the breakup? Thank you Zan it helped me to see why he did not try to have a talk to get through issues first. When he broke up with me he was so cold and distant, as if he were a completely different person. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. He is my best friend, my love, my everything. . Imagine that your shoulder is hurting like crazy and that your boyfriend is trying to help you. And I also deal with depression but have been getting help and I know how he feels in a way, but I know how to talk about feelings and when things bother me, he doesnt. She told me it hurts her that she feels that way towards me. You must understand that a depressed boyfriend will break up with you when he thinks that the breakup will help him feel better. As a matter of fact, its only gotten worse because now youre getting frustrated as well. Ever since that day we moved on to being in couple, every single day, every single moments were the happiest and the best of my life, of our life. He needed to break up with you, be it temporarily, because some aspect or aspects of the . Even if you cannot stay with your partner, please help them get proper treatment and medication. Its been 3 days since we last talked and we have talked everyday for 4 years. You need to. I had a traumatic run in with my ex abusive parenter and needed him. Those suffering from high-functioning depression are often their own worst critics, and its difficult to turn that criticism off. Bipolar Boyfriend Suddenly Broke Up With Me But Then Changed To Break Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? Im feeling sad but better as days goes on. If your ex is going out a lot, sleeping with other women, and having a good time, he obviously isnt depressed or having a hard time coping with stress. This article is very helpful. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. We still see each other because of an organization we're both apart of btw. He could come back after hes overcome depression but dont count on it. Is it possible hell come back to me when hes feeling ready? Many people are familiar with the five stages of griefdenial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I spoke about this to his psychiatrist as well as his parents. It made him think that he didnt have enough time, energy, willpower, and love to stay in a relationship with you and that he needed to find happiness without you. Not only that, a person can become depressed because of the imbalance of their brain chemistry. Its in your boyfriends nature to isolate himself and wallow in depression. I just dont know how to stop missing him and start to move on. But he isnt doing that. As depression encompasses lack of hope and anhedonia, you should try to provide him hope, faith and commitment along with warmth and love. Weve only been broken up two days and weve gone NC. Week into my breakup now. I made the decision to leave the relationship, I didnt want to, but I didnt want to add to his stress and having to worry about pleasing me. She already was a bit depressed before this, as she has a really difficult background and childhood. They leave their partners at their worst and run off to enjoy their lives to the fullest. If anyone else dealt with this, what happened? maybe we can talk privately? I did see it coming, he has done it a few months prior this break up, too. In which you can speak about your thoughts and feelings without being judged. Because of the pain thats been hurting you for weeks, youre starting to project your unhappiness onto your boyfriend. I thought our love was stronger than this, its so crazy. If you need assistance for mental health issues, please seek expert opinion and assistance immediately.The information on this page is not designed to replace a doctor or physician's independent judgment about the appropriateness or risks of a procedure for a given patient nor does it represent a diagnoses or advice. All she had was work, studies, and she had to learn to pay bills on her own, manage her money and have to worry about it. You just accepted the end of the romantic relationship and stopped treating him as the most important person. Get active. Its also you because he associated unpleasant emotions with you and let those emotions suffocate him and affect his feelings for you. He asked me not to go to his house. She is from the USA, and i am from France. You should take him to a professional who will be able to dig into the root causes behind his problems. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. It crushed me because I love him still and wanted to make things work. Your partner did not choose to be in depression, remember that. He feels smothered by you and thinks he should stop feeling smothered before he can work on himself. Depression is a mental illness that can cause a person to experience intense sadness, along with that, they might lose hope in life and the future, along with a decreased sense of self-worth and low self-esteem. How did things evolve for you both ? By distancing himself from you, he can stop worrying about your wants and needs and focus only on his. Another thing that will help you cope is finding new hobbies and activities. Depression is a mood disorder in which normal functioning of an individual slows down and may become null if left untreated. He's been very honest with me about his depression, or so I thought. A breakup caused by depression can be difficult to foresee and interpret. Hes just enjoying the space the breakup provided and is going to keep doing that until he stops feeling empowered by the breakup. But i am so heartbroken. About 3 weeks ago, my now ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because of his depression. Hes happy when everythings fine and unhappy or miserable when he cant get what he wants from you. You have a lot to think about but there are resources and I wish you all the best as you try to figure this out. You feel like your assistance was for nothing and that youre not good enough for him. I did drop a letter off at his home when wasnt there. Ask him what exactly he feels about his situation. But leaving a person when he or she is going through something as difficult as depression is a mystery beyond my comprehension. They will do that to achieve their goals, which can be keeping the relationship as is or getting you to do something for them. My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Yesterday!! He Is Depressed Its brought me a lot of strength and hope as Im going through the same thing recently. If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below. A person is diagnosed with depression if they have constantly presented its symptoms for more than two weeks.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'psychreel_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-banner-1-0'); Not everyone experiences depression the same way when talking about the frequency and intensity of the symptoms. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. What Eckard means is that people depend on external sources for happiness and your ex will probably as well. He proceeded to hang out with his friends and cancelled on my twice in a weekend even the make-up plans he made. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Its really sad and i was heartbroken that she decided that, but on the other hand i know it is for the best, i only hope she feels better and manage to heal, and be happy. How is it going for you now? During the treatment process, be supportive and understanding. So if youre wondering why your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, heres the answer youre looking for. The phase is so dark that he would end up accepting the fact that he has never loved you ever. You can tell them you are sorry it didnt work out, and let them. I want him to be happy and to heal. Things will make much more sense when you regain emotional independence. He said its been very difficult with his anxiety and depression and feels like he needs to talk to a therapist. He told me he was getting better when I asked him if his new meds were workingwhy doesn't he think we can work as a team and get through this, if I have made it clear that I'm more than willing? I wish that he felt the way I did (that we can weather any storm together) but this blog will help me to keep looking forward and to let him go. boyfriend broke up with me because he's depressed Ive heard just about every breakup excuse there is and I can tell you that this one is a doozy. 2) Is there any chance hell be back? But I know its not possible & it truly hurts. Its not his fault, but the pain is making you feel frustrated, forcing you to appear out of character. I am sure he will further regain the trust and love he had for you. Even if you cannot stay with your partner, please help them get proper treatment and medication. I found this method quite useful to minimise the chance of my mind filled up by the same thoughts all the time it helped me to be less confused, and could progress even though the pain would take a long time to heal. Hell try to be happy for a while and will feel like he is. Its not just people with depression who distance themselves from others. This will be great to learn more about yourself as an individual, and not only with the likes and dislikes that were related to the relationship.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_6',113,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Sometimes finding new places to go, such as art exhibitions, doing a small trip, can give you a clear headspace to think about what has happened and deal with it. It really makes me mad because this probably only made it worse, she probably feel like she cant be helped at all and lose hope in any help, and it probably played on her mental health again since then. But some factors may make it easier for a person to feel depressed. He even apologized for the relationship being one sided that he was sorry for neglecting me for 2 or 3 weeks and would do better. It has been about a month of us being broken up. We were committed, we had goals, we had projects, we had a future together. But now he thinks it is unfair to me; that he is unhappy, therefore can not make me happy. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me. What do i do - HealingWell Theres no guarantee that your ex will come back after hes dealt with depression, but if he starts dating again and gets hurt (or gets hurt in some other way), he could seek solace in you and try to obtain your validation. Hi there. With proper communication you will be able to understand the true nature of your partners mental illness thereby helping him in getting a proper cure. My boyfriend is suffering from depression and he has been in a really bad mood lately saying how nobody cares about him and how life is pointless and meaningless and things like that and he just broke up with me a couple of hours ago. They dont explain that their exes drained their energy and made them feel smothered or guilty for not being able to reciprocate their feelings and meet their expectations. They need something from you, and you dont want to be left. If I may ask, how is everything going with you and your girlfriend now? Depressed boyfriend broke up with me, what is the best way to navigate this? So dont think that hell run back to you the moment he feels better. Sometimes dumpers desperately seek help and other times they do exactly the opposite. 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