Harriette Winslow: [to Rachel] Believe me! Steve could've been killed. Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh really, why wasn't I told? Steve Urkel: [thinking he's playing hide and seek with Laura, Eddie, & Judy and a shower starts running] That shower running doesn't fool me Laura! Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. The valet gave me a tip. Can you imagine that? [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. I feel stupid! Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. When my dad said you fixed me up with Laura; why, I thought I'd wet my pants! Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. Laura: Well, Steve, I've been trying to convince Waldo that girls find him attractive. Why she is woman, hear me roar. Sergeant Shishka: Don't insult my Army. Steven Quincy Urkel: I wasn't the one who overslept, Ms. Rip Van Winslow. I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! Rachel Crawford: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door is closed we're trying to keep unwanted people out? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Would you shut your filthy mouth! Wha? Lt. Murtaugh: Yeah like that's gonna bring him back. Carl Otis Winslow: 150 extra people on what should've been a small family affair. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent? I mean the guy's a feeb. Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! It's late. Was I about to take the Big Sleep? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: The Snooze Juice. right next to the bathroom. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? There's room for you and there's room for me although let's be quite honest, you take up a lot more room than me. I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well now that depends, how nice of a Christmas gift do you want. Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. [takes note and crumbles it, Laura slams locker door, revealing the word 'N*gger' spray painted on it]. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. Carl: What are you talking about? Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? Weasel: [pulls out a lot of cash from his pockets] Look at this $1500 dead presidents and the homies are still coming in. That's the last time I do anything for anybody in this house. Eddie Winslow: [at the frat party] Steve, why are you wearing a toga? *You're* gonna sleep in the bathtub! Would you rather be buried or cremated? All the doo da day. Yesterday he said 'get lost, Fido Face!' Laura: [gasps] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please forgive me. [Willie grabs Waldo and takes him with the cops who arrested them], [Steve has humiliated Willie at the party that he grabs a small glass of Vodka and pours it into Urkel's cup]. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Steve Urkel: Oh no! Steve Urkel: [runs back into the living room] Sorry Rachel! It's Monday! Steve Urkel: [dropping his bowling ball and hyperventilating]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly. A minor Betty Crocker boo boo. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, when you when you Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Bite the big one? And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. [walks into the bathroom]. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. Steve is the perfect son. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Steve Urkel: You yelled at me and you called me a butthead! Eddie Winslow, front and center! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Myra, your mother told me you came here, so I assumed you're becoming a nun. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off.
Earlier Urkel's Funny Moments - YouTube Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Laura: Thank you, Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Would you reward me with a kiss? Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM! Rachel Crawford: Right. Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. You had two whole days to forget where it was. I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. [sees the kids] Oh my Lord! Harriette Winslow: Mother Winslow, take all the toddlers up to your room. Gun, Carl. Laura: Just let me fall! [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. [plugs the cord into the socket]. Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! And we practiced for six minutes! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Willie Makeit? There is no Steve here. Harriette Winslow: Every time she stops, she starts all over again. Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Harriette Winslow: Yeah. [He leaves the house]. [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. I don't know what to say. Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie? Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Me and the guys were going to have a flyer party next Saturday when you go out of town. You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon.
Steve Urkel | Family Matters Wiki | Fandom Now you sleep tighty-tighy with all your mighty-might. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Who do you think bought his first pair of shoes? Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? Carl Otis Winslow: Hey sweetheart, how about some pie? Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. no. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Caterer trainees. Laura: We're not going anywhere. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [Stands up] Dad, I'm not implying. They just love juicy gossip. Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! In the latter half of Family Matters, Steve started staying with the Winslows as his parents didn't want him around. So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. Chico! No, you're not invited. Can you carry me home? Everywhere you look, TV, movies, magazines, all these 90 pound people, smiling, dancing where do they get the strength? Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel. [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: Then how 'bout a nice juicy thigh? Steve Urkel: Uh no. Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Willie Fuffner: I don't know what you're talking about, officer. Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. Chuck is twice the man, Raoul is. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. Laura Lee Winslow: That's right, I don't know, and I still like the Cards. I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray. She's mine! You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. Steve Urkel: Actually, it was my dad who said that. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. What did you do? [Comes out and fights Willie as the students cheer for a fight between Urkel and Fuffner], [Waldo and Wille has just gotten out of class to trash Urkel's locker]. College Problems Student Problems Carl: Are you implying that you're not having a good time? Have you taken leave of your senses? Steve Urkel: You didn't even make it onto the chart! Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! I wanna read it to my mom. Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. Let's keep this one! He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! And most of all, you don't have to deal with bullies. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . Robber: Oh yeah? He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Then, you'll need a wide-angle lense. Rachel Crawford: Well, Steve, I am your boss. Who? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. Steve Urkel: 'Standardized Urkel Elementary Math Exam'. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you!
Blogging Everyday on Tumblr Carl = Son, you have disobeyed me for a woman? [Runs with Steve to confront Waldo and Weasel], [Eddie tries to flirt with a cute girl, unaware that Carl is behind him]. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Three times X equals six. So they picked up all our stuff and moved us.
430+ Dirtiest Pick Up Lines Ever - TheStallionStyle Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. Laura Lee Winslow: You're lucky, you got into a great fraternity and all it cost you was your best friend. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. Willie Fuffner: But he wasn't, so chill out ok. Laura Lee Winslow: You just don't get it, do you. Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! I just got a job! Harriette: That won't get the stains out. Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Darnell Watkins: [about Carl] This guy's about invisible. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. Because check this out buddy, you're alone. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. Laura Lee Winslow: Most people don't know that. Steve Urkel: [whispering] I bent my dagger. Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. Harriette Winslow: Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Curtis. Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. And we practiced for six minutes! Waldo: We rented us a limo station wagon. [smiles]. He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Harriette Winslow: [Opens the candy box] Candy missing. They misspelled three words. It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Hey, cut me some slack. Let eserviate on the bright side. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? Steve looks at Laura], [At The Winslow home in the alternate world]. I have feelings. Carl: I just had the worst day of my entire life. First of all, this is not a real date. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Maybe abrasive is the wrong word. Laura: Steve, did you eat that moldy cheese? Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. "Tomorrow Dad!" I'm being born! Laura: Dad, you're exacerbating the situation instead of ameliorating it. Harriette Winslow: Carl was nice enough to invite you into his game and you've been acting like a jackass. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: All the way home, and the next day I cried all the way back to the library. Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. You're standing on my finger! Come here, let me give you some sugar. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Oh man I didn't think you were this cool. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You won't be sorry, sir. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [cracks a laugh but tries to stop] It's so sad. The truth is you deserve a kiss.
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